Our obsession with the endgame

Not fully knowing what path we're on in life should be fun, like watching a movie we've never seen before. So why can we feel so lost without a sense of direction?

Lately, I've been trying to embrace this uncertainty instead of feeling anxious in it. I've been doing it by trying to reflect on my own life and tracing back in time; by realizing how unpredictable the things that have led to my successes have been.

There is a delicate balance between intentionally placing yourself in positions that might lead to good outcomes, versus letting go and "trusting the universe".

The latter is really hard. When I feel stuck in life my first instinct is to stop and almost desperately think: What should I be working on? What's the optimal life and how do I get there? What's my vision?

I get obsessed with the endgame.

I think of these questions like there's supposed to be a definitive answer. Like if I just think hard enough, suddenly the answer might come to me. It never does.

Life is not a maths question. There is no 'solve for x' and you're done. Still, not having a clear path forward sometimes makes me see it like that.

I've been trying to follow the advice of Marc Randolph (What the founder of Netflix taught me about life) of not trying to force outcomes and instead to follow my genuine curiosity.

For me, it helps to see things through a short time horizon. What am I genuinely curious about right now? Trying to figure out my grander vision is simply too difficult. I don't know where I want to be in the next 5, 10, 20 years.

This hopefully continues to lead me on a path of successful outcomes; more serendipitous meetings with people that lead me onto my next adventure.

I'm trying to become more comfortable in only seeing my one next step, rather than the next thousand.

Because while watching a movie where we know the entire story beforehand can be comforting, it's not very exciting.